My friend told me of an article she read that talked about how women fake their orgasm and men fake the whole relationships. First it got me laughing but on second thought it got me thinking.
“Wait a minute are you serious, what is your take on the subject” I asked her
eager to hear what she has to say, also eager to share it with all of you.
It is no doubt that there are a lot of very talented actors and actresses out there on the streets, they have never gotten a script or role in a movie, never seen, talk less of being behind the camera before; but faking orgasim and the whole relationship? My dear if you are one, you deserve an Oscar.
She laughed loud at me as she asked” do you think everyone is like you” “like me?” yes do you think everyone is like you, open, honest , frank, natural? Wake up to reality sweetheart, the world is a stage and we all, we are just actors playing out different roles; some villains others the good guys, some antagonist others protagonists.
I couldn’t believe it especially coming from a married woman, so tell me do you fake it? I asked, yes I have in times past.
Why? I probed further, well my dear I was pretty naïve, not knowing how to communicate it to my husband, in fact I didn’t know I should talk about it. I was like a bomb waiting to explode I wanted to be the good wife my mother always taught me to be, I wanted to ensure I satisfy my husband; that I did well, but I also wanted satisfaction too. I couldn’t understand it am I not supposed to equally derive some form of satisfaction from this” beautiful process” or is it meant for the man alone?
It is like Moses who got to the Promised Land but didn’t enter, was I always aroused? , yes no doubt, and was I taken through the whole forty years journey through the wilderness?, the answer is yes again, but did I ever get to see the promise land? Oh! Far from it; the answer is NO, NO, NO.
You mean to tell me your husband didn’t notice it? How could he have noticed, apart from the fact that I used to script, edit, cast, direct, produce and act the last few scenes of our sexual acts myself; at that point in time, (i.e the middle of the action) the men are in cloud nine and don’t seem to be conscious of their environment. Even if an airplane should land on his head right then he wouldn’t feel it, he would rather finish up the act then faint afterwards.
I laughed and laughed, I had a very good laugh, while in my heart I thought “see a waste of talent, this woman should be Hollywood ”. I must say it is an unsafe situation to be in as a married woman. (Looking into her eyes I knew she hated those times and would give anything to ensure other young brides don’t make the very mistakes she made) “Unsafe” is an understatement, I said I was a bomb waiting to explode, I had bottled too much up. I couldn’t talk to my husband because I didn’t want to hurt his ego, couldn’t talk to my mother with whom I have never really talked about sex , I didn’t know who to turn to; having married as a virgin I didn’t really know what climax was but I just knew I wasn’t fulfilled sexually. Climax means the top, peak, high point, pinnacle, apex of something, but this girl wasn’t getting to the top of this mountain or anything else.
Some women who find themselves in this kind of position fall prey to the temptation of seeking satisfaction outside their marriage, once this happens and she is fortunate or should I say unfortunate enough to fall into the hands of someone who takes her into the promise land then it becomes hard; some say she has reached the point of no return.
Please tell me how you were able to deal with this challenge? I asked. A wise woman I confided in told me to talk it over with my husband, communication is very important in any relationship, she said; so I talked to my husband and I was surprised how well he took it. He immediately adjusted a few details and just like magic, he took me to the promise land where I climbed a mountain top and have not come down ever since.
If you don’t talk to your husband about it you will begin to feel used, though some women fake orgasim for some other ulterior reasons which I do not know.
Wow this is some really deep stuff, so how do men fake the whole relationship? (at this point I could not wait to hear what this experienced mother of three had to say).
She continued by saying: If you think we women make better actors wait till you meet a man whose relationship with you is FRAUD. Men are said to fake the whole relationship because they can be with you and two or three others but make you feel like you are their world. I know right now you are saying women are not innocent of this crime; yes there are women who do this too just like there are men who are guilty of the former.
It is amazing how good men are at looking the woman in the eyes and lying to her, he sends you on a trip abroad in the disguise that he wants you to rest but unknown to you he only wants to get rid of you and make space to spend time with one of his many conquest. My oh my! the men are good, you see the worse part is that they always have an excuse or a way of painting their monkey business to look good; here are a few lines we have heard over and over: “you know that men are natural chasers, it’s a man’s world, our women need to know how to excite us, men get bored easily so the women in their lives should know how to keep the chase on, we have short attention span, men are boys, men are babies, boys will always be boys.”
We all need to grow up and call a spade a spade ( owun tio da o da, please forgive my attempt at yourba) am just saying that we are grown ups, we know what is right and what is wrong; lets stop all the hanky panky and put the cards on the table.
Where your spouse isn’t getting it right let him or her know. Simply look for or create a conducive atmosphere and tell your spouse in a nice way, be sure not to hurt or demoralize him or her. Don’t use their mistakes as an excuse for you to misbehave as well, because two wrongs don’t make a right; or do they?
YOU TELL ME